Random (en anglais bouuh)

And still you're smiling. Even tho you do wanna die, even tho you are sad as fuck. And you don't know if you wanna be alone, or if you wanna meet some other pepole. Because when you're alone, your sadness become bigger, but when you're close to the other, you have to pretend that you're okay, happy, because you don't know how to stop. Maybe they'd be sadder if they know how bad you feel, and that's what you want to avoid. They do not desserve to see your pain when they are so broken themselves. As usual, you want them to feel good, to feel better than you could possibly imagine. Because in the end, it's always the same fight, you against yourself, and still you cry all the night. But if they knew, would they be sad ? Would they hate you ? You do not wanna know. You wannaclose your eyes and let the silence flows into you. Never move again. Never live again. But you can't. So you wear your biggest smile, you stand up.